Blonde Ambition Taking The World By Surprise One Glittery Step At a Time
There’s no need to be embarrassed. At some point we’ve all been curious about dating apps. How About We, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish are just a few of the many that have piqued the interest of the single females who sometimes feel like looking further than the local watering hole for a date. Then Tinder came along and took us all by storm.
This app knocked the other apps into left field by excluding from it some of the most irritating steps that most of us go through when it comes to virtual love. With a sleek and simple design, Tinder is easy to use for even the most technically insufficient of people. Unlike Grindr, which is for gays only, Tinder can be used for both sexual orientations. Most dating apps require extensive quizzes and questionnaires and a whole library’s worth of information about yourself to make an account. Not Tinder. Tinder obtains all your information from your Facebook, automatically, so you don’t have to spend hours thinking about your favorite hobbies and where your ideal date would be. Tinder does the work for you, and best of all, it keeps all that information at a safe minimum. Tinder displays only your first name, five pictures from your Facebook (of your choosing), as well as a vague mile-radius of how far you are from who’s looking at your account. If you have any common interests or friends with the viewer, it shows them. You can choose to write an About Me, or you don’t have to. Best of all, messaging is restricted to only those you approve. That’s right. No creepers.
Here’s how it works - if you come across someone you like and you say “Yes” to them, it logs that away in little private Tinder files. If and when they say “Yes” to you, you get a cute little notification informing you that you have a new match - then and ONLY then can the person message you! No messages from scary old guys…what a revelation! With the app soaring up in popularity, more and more people are joining every day, making the Tinder database a growing display of plenty of interesting people. Here’s a list of some of the guys you’re bound to run into in your search for romance.
Happy hunting. ;)
1. Guy Who Really Loves His Dog.
Yeah, he may take you out. But something tells me you might have to fight Scruffy for a spot in his bed.
2. Really Really Sensitive and Romantic Guy.
He enjoys long walks on the beach and crying like a baby while watching the Notebook. Watch out - you could have a stage 5 clinger, here.
3. Guy Who Thinks His Abs Will Lure You In.
Unless you’re going to be shirtless with a bag over your head on our first date, this really does me no good.
4. Guy Who Wants His Swag To Be Felt Through The Phone.
It’s like a 3D movie, only it’s swag. And he’s got enough of it for the both of you.
5. Guy Who Uses Celebrity Photo Instead Of His Own.
Why Mr. Downey Jr., I had no idea you were only 27! Is Tony your middle name?
6. Really Depressed Guy.
I’m sorry the dating apps are not working out for you. It’ll get better. Please don’t jump.
7. Guy Who’s Too Cool To Look At The Camera So He Looks Away.
Yes, the overall attractiveness of your ear is definitely going to make me click yes. And what nice sideburns!
8. Emo MySpace Guy.
Together you will take many a mirror pic in his pink bathroom of anguish.
9. Weird Candid Photo Guy.
Do you and your turkey leg come here often?
10. Car-Selfie Guy.
With the focus of a shopper on Black Friday and the coolest shades he could find at Walgreens, he will get you to every date safely and on time.
11. Guy With Other Guys.
Either he’s the least attractive one in the group or it’s a 7 for the price of 1 deal!
12. Yearbook Picture Guy.
"Andrew graduated as champion of the chess club and aspires to one day meet a great girl on a dating application."
13. Duckface Guy.
Hey buddy, only one of us is allowed to make that face in this relationship, and it won’t be you.
14. Bondage Scary Mascara Guy.
50 Shades of omgwtfisthat.
15. Perverted Guy.
Nothing gets me hotter than staring at another chick’s lady bits.
16. Too Close To The Camera Guy.
That’s a really lovely eyeball, but I’ll need to see more of you to make an educated decision.
17. Really Attractive Model Guy.
Yeah. Right. Like he has trouble finding dates. Even when one of these pops up, most of the time they’re prettier than we are, so we click no due to our own insecurity.
18. Guy Who Has Photographic Evidence Of His Awesome Lady Catching Skills.
He’s a winner. The picture and dazzling smiles say it all.
19. Guy Who Likes Weed.
He’ll present you with a beautiful bouquet of weed lollies wearing his lovely hash scented cologne.
20. Really Soulful Musician Guy.
Beware, he may go Taylor Swift on you if things don’t work out.
21. Guy Who Loves Alcohol More Than He Will Ever Love You.
He’ll ask you out to his friend’s frat party, and he’ll show up at your house drunk. You knew what you were getting into.
22. Guy With Girlfriend.
Something tells me if HoodStar’s chick finds out he’s on here, she’s gonna whoop his ass right into the next hood.
It’s been awhile since I wrote, I know. Truth is, I didn’t really have any interesting things to say. The holidays are my favorite time of year, and my most-anticipated. This year I practically clawed my way through Thanksgiving, and the minute it was over, I promptly put up all my Christmas decorations. Now that Christmas is over, I’m hesitating to take them down. They give me the best feeling and good feelings are somewhat needed right now. During this Christmas season, I felt the sting of being single more than ever, and the holidays were kind of hard to get through. Don’t know how I would have done it if I hadn’t had my warm and loving family by my side. By the time the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve, I realized that the most important thing I had learned from 2012, despite my breakup and everything, was how to be happy on my own….just me…no man involved. And for me that was HUGE. I realized I’m not READY to be with anyone right now and that I want to focus on myself. Last year I was crying because I was alone, this year I choose to be alone. I choose to focus on myself, rather than some relationship. So even though last year was mostly full of pain, suffering, and heartache for me, I would have gone through it all over again, because it taught me to be okay with just myself. And that, was something worth toasting to at midnight on New Years Eve. What did 2012 teach you?
My amazing dinner skills.
Steamed squash & zucchini (steamed with a REAL wooden steamer! Blimey!)
Gorgonzola cheese, baby spring mix, & balsamic vinegar & olive oil salad.
Trés magnifique and vair vair delicious!
Some of my friends have recently become single. I just recently went through a horrible break-up myself, and I know how heart wrenching it feels. You feel like you’ve just been punched in the stomach…like you can’t breathe, right? It’s terrible. And while oodles of time may be the sure cure, I have a few suggestions you can try in the meantime that helped me fight my way through the heartache.
1. CRY. I know it’s the last thing most of us feel like doing, but the truth is, you need to see yourself as a plugged sink with the water on. Eventually, all that emotion is going to overflow, and when it does, it won’t be pleasant. Let yourself feel the heartache…the sooner you start crying, the sooner you’ll stop.
2. TURN ON YOUR FAVORITE SHOW. When I was devastated over the loss of my relationship, the only thing that seemed to cheer me up was watching every single season of all my favorite shows. I watched every single episode of South Park, Grey’s Anatomy, and Gossip Girl. It kept my mind off of the fact that I was alone, and that helped more than anything.
3. TURN IT OFF. I know most of us go CRAZY without our phones, but if you are anything like me, you’re probably sleeping with your phone under your pillow, hoping you’ll hear from your long lost love. I know it sounds pathetic, but most of us have been guilty of this at some point. So save yourself the agony and turn the damn thing off. The last thing you need at this point is Facebook, Twitter, and text message checks every five minutes. Give it a rest so you can rest too. If you don’t want to turn it completely off, at least turn on airplane mode.
4. GET SOME SLEEP. Another thing that helped me when I couldn’t stop choking on my own misery was lots of sleep. Your body is under stress…you’re grieving the loss of someone very important to you. Take a Benadryl and get some much needed beauty sleep. Think of it this way; it doesn’t hurt as much when you’re in dreamland.
5. CALL THE GIRLS. Catch up with friends and put your mind on something other than the split. Go shopping, have a sleep over, buy a man-pinata and smash it to bits. Whatever you do, if you’re doing it with your gal pals you’re much more likely to enjoy it more.
6. READ THE BIBLE. And by Bible, I mean Why Men Love Bitches. It gives women a whole new perspective on love, life, and themselves. Get your power back with this National Best Seller…I guarantee you’ll feel better about yourself after you read a few chapters.
7. SHOP. It’s called retail therapy for a reason…need I say more?
Now, there are two huge sins that a lot of women commit right after becoming single…they may seem like they will help you, but they will only hurt you.
NO DRINKING. This is usually the first thing many of us do wrong. It won’t help. Unless you’re willing to lock your phone in a safe and put on a chastity belt, I wouldn’t recommend breaking into the bottle. Alcohol doesn’t make you feel better…it numbs you, and then you wake up feeling just as heartbroken, and now HUNGOVER. Avoid the booze until you’ve calmed down a bit.
NO REBOUNDS. As much as you feel like seeking revenge by hooking up with a hottie, RESIST TEMPTATION. Afterwards you’ll feel empty and guilty and new boy will only make you think about your old one. Let your wounds heal before you hop in the sack with a new dude. You’ll thank me later.
A lot of people ask me how I do my eye make-up, so I’m going to explain how I do it on here. (For those of you who are make-up artists or whatever, I understand there’s probably some super cool make-up artist way to do it, however, my way works for me.)
Step 1. Prime. I start off with a primer on my eyes so my shadow will stay on. I use Prime Time by bareMinerals.
Step 2. Brighten & Conceal. I then use an under-eye brightener and concealer duo. I use the brightener all over my eyes, and then I put the concealer underneath to conceal any dark circles. I use Hard Candy Undercover Agent.
Step 3. Highlight. I use a highlighter on my browbone and the inner corners of my eyes. My shadow of choice for this is Loreal Infallible 24-Hour Shadow in Iced Latte.
Step 4. I then line my eyes with eyeliner. I draw a thick line on the upper outer rim, and pull it a little past the outer corner of my eye for a “cat eye” effect. I also line the upper inner rim, the lower inner rim, and the bottom outer rim. Then I smudge it with a small angled brush. My eyeliner of choice is Revlon Colorstay Gel Eyeliner in Black.
Step 5. Then I blend a black eyeshadow on the bottoms of my lids & outermost corners of my eyes. My black eyeshadow of choice is Sephora Moonshadow Baked Palette’s Glitter Black. I then use the same palette’s Deep Brown and blend that into the black and take it up to the middle of my lid.
Step 6. I then use a light brown shadow to blend into the deep brown and up into my crease. My shadow of choice is Lancome’s Mochaccino. (The bottom right color).
Step 7. Finally, I use a thick black mascara and put three coats of it on my top and bottom lashes. My mascara of choice is L’Oreal’s Voluminous False Lashes Mascara in Blackest Black.